Reflection

Thinking back on especially the last six months, but basically the last couple of years, I'm realizing that all the of the moments that left big impact on me, the memories of which I really cherish, are all of small, fleeting, elusive everyday moments.
Something so easy as being there and patiently listening to, or just sitting silently with, someone needing compassion... a walk in the woods, an afternoon spent doing nothing with a person you're comfortable with... An intriguing discussion, just those moments you haven't planned.

Funny, isn't it, How we chase those grandiose, extraordinary experiences, in the march trampling over our actual life, planning for a future you can't be sure you'll experience.

I believe happiness happens when you pause in the moment, knowing and acknowledging,
"This is good. I'm grateful for this moment. This moment is my life. Not tomorrow, or next week, next year... This exact moment"

Just a thought. Shared with you.
Take care.

Sorry planet...

My environmental-caring soul died this morning. Again.

Today, the topic was Disposal of medicine.
I am not sure if we are alone in this in Sweden, but getting rid of almost empty medicine packs or unusable medicines is a pretty complicated deal, involving putting them in special bags and bring them to a pharmacy.
Why? Because otherwise, the medicine may a) turn up where it should not be, or b) damage the environment. And there are probably other reasons as well.
Seeing as Paraguay basically lacks every system available to prolong this planets ability to sustain us, it was not with a big deal of hope I wandered into the pharmacy and asked if they could take care of it for me.
I am not sure I have ever confused anyone as much as I befuddled this poor clerk attending me. She had no idea why on earth I brought my drugs there. She indicated that there was a trashcan outside the building.
I am totally convinced she thought it was a practical joke.
Well, not being the one shying away from sharing aspects of my own culture, I swiftly told her about our disposal of drugs in Sweden. She still didn't have the faintest clue on what the hell I was talking about...
It made me a little dejected about the hope of future. Again. Paraguay does that to me and my exchange peers every once in a while.
After seeing some things here, I can not honestly say that I think we will be able to make enough change within a reasonable time span, so as to reverse the damage we are inflicting on this earth.
I will be trying my best because I still want to believe that there's hope.
But it makes me feel really dejected.

On a happier note; my quails are doing better!! My half-bald girls are getting a better plumage already. They're still very shy, but they seem to enjoy a gentle massage over the back.
I brought them sand... I've never seen a bird that excited! They still don't have any eggs, but at least they're happier!
I let them be on the grass ( in a cage of course) at least a couple of hours a day, to eat ants and grass, and they seem to love it.

Stay safe, take care!

Quaiiiils!!!

Guess what?? I'm now a proud mom of three adorable, pidgeon-sized quails!
I have one white male and two wild-colored hens, and they are now my little project, seeing as getting just about any animal in Asuncion is more of a rescue-operation than anything else...
They have been under my supervision for a fair 12 hours and they are now calming down a little.

They are still nameless, but let me introduce them by describing their current condition.
My white/light beige male is a bit ruffled in general and dirty, a little more skinny than I'd like to see him. He should get a better coat, but is also the most forward and curious of the group. He has the most adorable little tweet and jet black eyes.
My better-looking female (in fact my best-looking quail) is a little anonymous, I've still not gotten to know her. She's wild-colored and at least has a reasonably adequate weight. She misses some feathers on her back but they are growing back. Just like my other little babies she's still very shy.
My worse-off girl basically has a bare back and bleeding little holes where the other quails she shared cage with in the store have been pulling out feathers, but a reasonable weight. I took her out tonight and walked around the house with her, to make her tamer (my project with all of them...) as I will be spending some time caring for her back.
I'm glad to report that they're all eating and drinking very well.
They eat a quail feed which I mixed with flax seeds in hope that if, wonder of wonders, they'll lay eggs, these will have an omega 3- content. I also tried giving them apple and cucumber.
I read the other day that apple cider vinegar helps with both eventual worms and the feathers, so I'll be mixing a little of that in their water. Also I want to buy a patch of grass (like, a square meter of lawn) to put in their cage. I'd like to have them on the actual grass, but with a round 10 wild cats coming to our house every day, it does not ring all too true now does it.

So why are my quails so ruffled? Brace yourself for a real-life, relatively mild, animal horror story Paraguayan style...
After a talk yesterday with my family, we agreed that I could get some quails.
Why I want quails?
Because I do, that's why.
My family told me about this animal/veterinary shop about 6 blocks away (note that this is the average distance to just about everything...) where I would surely find my new pets.
And yes I did, didn't I? A bit doubtful I entered what more looked like a hangar, and the first thing I see is a huge duck an a cage. Then some awesome rare goose-ish specimen I didn't dare to bring to my house in fear of being thrown out of the house (it wasn't a small bird...).
And about 50 rabbits in two cages. A reasonable amount of white mice, most of them dead by the looks of it. Cages with up to 20 canaries (I'm generously rounding off downwards).
And... Quails.
About a hundred. In three small-ish cages. Pecked, stressed, featherless quails. One very little quail that had gotten stuck and was trampled. I needed a moment to recover mentally from this whilst expressing my wish for buying quails to the attendant. I was thinking only two females first. However, then I saw this white one, which I really wanted (Sweden I hear your butthurt protests, but don't hate me just because I choose something white, it does not make me a racist.) and it turned out to be a male. So then I got two additional chicks, with the thought of "if I at least save these three, it's better than nothing".
And I hate caged animals. Very weird to buy cage birds you might say? Very two-faced? Yeah well, agree as I do that animals do not belong in cages, I am convinced that I can give at least these three a better home than most others would care to. It makes very small difference in the whole business of animalkeeping... But for these three, it does make a big difference.


On another subject, today I ventured to Mercado 4, which is basically a huuuge area of venders, with my friend Lilian and her mother.
The reason for this little adventure was a series of events that lead to Lili loosing her tereré-termo last week. This may not sound so bad to you but I assure you, this is basically one of the worst things that can happen to anyone in Paraguay, especially in the summer. It borders on cruel torture...
Mercado 4 is rather impressive. I don't know how else to describe it. It can't really be described... You walk through, busses drive through, you smell hundred different things at once and it is just an overwhelming experience, but still a really good one.
And yes, we did find a thermo qualifying to the high standards my Paraguayan friend put up...

Stay safe, take care, smile

Let's go for a ride!!

There we are, just casually ridin´around the countryside..

My Sunday had a totally brilliant start. I woke up at about 6, after an agitated night of anxious sleep, and slumbered in bed a couple of hours, wanting to get up but not knowing what to do. Then my hostfather appears, slamming open the door, shouting "kids, you're going horseriding!".I have rarely scrambled out of bed that quickly, although it took longer for my sis to get up, given that she was actually sleeping and that my father is not very good at waking people up.

My guide and company, preparing my mount

So we went to a house a couple of blocks away from the charming house the family owns in San Miguel (a charming community about 180 km from Asunción on route 1) to meet our mounts. At this point my sister realized she was not feeling very well, and it was decided I would go with the son of the family to whom the horses belonged, on a tour.

Meeting my horse. I did not even think about ask her name,
I guess I just assumed she didn't have one...

And so we did. I haven't ridden western style before, resulting in me sometimes messing some things up, but it was brilliant. My horse was a fairly tall, nicely built and rarely colored mare with a nice temper and coherence, making my trip awesome. Also, my guide, whose name I unfortunately didn't catch, was very nice. Very much like me, ie not very talkative, making the ride really tranquil and peaceful.

There we are. Horse abit confused and me in all my "Woke-up-couple-of-minutes-ago-and-basically-still-wearing-my-
pyjama"-glory...

There we go, heading out to the fields

The Paraguayan countryside is amazingly beautiful!! I was totally awestruck. There I was, seeing, for me, rare birds and plants in their natural habitat, cowboys working old style to move cattle, atop a horse without all the drama that it usually means with the horses I am used to.

And what I thought? It would be worth giving up almost all material things I have to be able to lead a life like this boy accompanying me. I know it is not all easy strolling, that it is actually quite alot of work involved, but still. If I could live a year like that, on the cordial countryside, riding around on the fields... pretty simple life, but still full or challenges and with its own richness... Needs some thinking.

Random, nice-looking horse

Returning. with a substantially worse sunburn that before
but mood substantially higher

I also gave a great deal of thought to all the laws we have to animal keeping in europe, and seeing how fine all these animals did on the countryside, I started to wonder, Why do we have so many exact rules and laws to animal keeping in Europe?

Then I remembered all the half-dead animals I see on a daily basis in Asunción, and thought: That's why... because some people are fucked up in the head and do not hesitate for a second to abuse animals for their own winning even if it means the death of the poor creature...

Met a puppy!! (My hostfather was the photographer)

A thing that surprized me was how home I felt at that horse, after not having been close to one for about 2 years I would expect feeling a little strange or unbalanced, but it was nothing like that. Made me wonder why I stopped taking riding lessons 3 years ago, that is definitely something I will be taking up when I return. And also, once in my life, I will own a horse. When the time is right, and all circumstances sre the right ones, I will. 

PUPPYYYY!!

Something of a rant ahead

I'm sorry Paraguay, I will now be raging over a thing that actually bothers me. I am not sure if the news selection allows more bullshit or if (probably inexistent) agencies of dumbass-control in general does a poor job, but here goes:

So, accidents happen. This is a fact, because we are human beings. Everything can't be controlled, we all make mistakes. Y bueno, this does not come as a surprise to anyone I am sure.

Except. The. Entire. Fucking. Population. Of. Paraguay.

(with entire, I of course don't mean entire as in 100% but merely more than I am used to, and also, exaggeration makes for funnier reading, so hold your horses)

So let me state you some examples.

A couple of months ago, a school class of kids at age of 10-11 went on a trip. In a bus. Busses lack airco, and to avoid the boiling of the people riding them, the windows are open.
So this one kiddo keeps sticking his head out of the window, time and again, despite the teachers yelling at him to stop, repeatedly.
So finally he sticks that head out for the last time, because, the busses traveling on roads, there are lampposts.
I do not need to say much more than that the kid was basically decapitated. And it is horrible, I do not mean to say anything else, it is a horrendous thing to happen, and I am sorry for everyone who knew the kid.
But here's the thing:
about a week afterwards, this kids family goes out on a campaign that would make any politician green of envy, seeking "Justice for whatever-his-name-is".
If I mind? Yes, sir I do mind!

And I need to repeat that I do not mean to be insensitive. I understand perfectly well that the parents are destroyed and want to do something, something to soothe that immense grief. Also, if they had a huge festival of Rest In Peace before the funeral, fine by me, I would not mind, maybe even buy a sticker to show compassion for the family.

But excuse me, dear sir father. From whom are you seeking to demand justice? From the bus? From the lamppost? From the school which took the kids on a trip? From the driver who didn't give the lamppost a wide berth? The teachers who told him repeatedly not to stick his head out? The road? The one who placed the post there? I am sorry but the truth is that in that exact moment, your kid was rather unclever, for not listening to the teachers and keeping sticking out his head. And unfortunate circumstances lead to his tragical death. That. Is. It.

There is no fucking justice to be sought. I, and many with me, see your campaign as a disrespectful, bitchy wining for attention. Although I understand that you want to do something, I get annoyed. I move out of compassion and into resent and annoyance. And I can not believe that the news allow this bullshit to be broadcasted. For a number of reasons.

And so to my second example, in which I'm involved at a lesser distance.
The first of January, a relative of my hostfamily died in a horrible car accident. His girlfriend (who, incidentally, came out clean on the alcohol test) was driving and lost control of the car, which went of the road, hit a tree and exploded. She got away with serious burns but unfortunately the guy died in the flames, and probably even on the impact.
For which I'm sorry, as a human being, even if I didn't know him.

But look at that, again his family are demanding justice, with banners and posters all over San Juan Bautista, the city where he lived.
And this time it's from the girlfriend they're seeking justice.
I actually learned this at the house of the deceaseds' family, upon which I almost choked on a mango and with difficulties swallowed down my "are-you-serious"es.
Because yes ma'am they're serious. They fully blame the girlfriend, they want the police to arrest her (I suppose for murder) or for her to be banned out of the city.
The phrases I hear are similar to "we want to make sure she doesn't kill any more people" and "no other person should have to suffer as we have suffered because of her".
I right now find my brain being overloaded with annoyed thoughts.
I can't help but wonder... Do these people think it would have been better if she died aswell?
Do they honestly believe that she hit that tree on fucking purpose? Or that she wanted her boyfriend dead?

I think these kinds of campaigns are pure bullshit. Of course, if there was any justice to be sought, go ahead if you please. I mean, of course it makes you feel better, even if it doesn't bring your loved one back.
But please dear lord of dumbass, stop trying so desperately to seek a culpable person, realize that accidents happen every one in a while and focus on getting out of the worst grief... The world is a rough place anyway. And I get sad over this.

That was what I wanted to say.
Take care, love and forgive.

Merry Christmas and a happy new year!

My Christmas was very different this year, as well as for my fellow AFSers.

People here have asked me "what's the biggest difference between your Christmas here and in Sweden?"
And what can one reply to that? I mean, of course, we have the snow and cold, but that is only superficial. I could say "I kinda miss the family-thing"... Even if I was with my host family, spending Christmas in your own house, with your own family and the well-known traditions, knowing exactly what to do and not being lost, that was the major difference in my Christmas this year. But luckily enough it didn't even feel like Christmas, first and foremost because it was about 40°C outside...

A relative with her adorable kid

I traveled with my family to Ciudad del Este ("City in the East", clever name since the city is in the very east of Paraguay, right by the border to Brazil and about 380 km from Asunción) to spend Christmas there, in a beautiful house of friends of the family.

The main difference between my ordinary Christmas and my paraguayan one was probably the fireworks, the lack of presents and the congratulating. 

Grumpy pheasant

So we sat, on the 24th, waiting for the 25th. when it finally arrived (after we had been sitting halfway starving next to a tableful of food 4 hours)everyone got up and congratulated each other underneath the fierce outbursts of fireworks.(why is still a mystery to me, but it was very nice).

Then there was the Christmas dinner, very Paraguayan with the sopa Paraguaya, Chipa Guazú (which is similar to the sopa)and tons of meat.

Awesome birdies

Christmas fireworks

And that was my Christmas eve.

Christmas food!

An with Cathys awesome cat Luna

While I was paying CDE a visit, i also met up with Cathrine, Rommel and An-Marthe, all exchange students for a small dinner. Very, very pleasant, it was about 4 months I last met them.

Our trip back was sort of interesting. We set out relatively early, aiming to get to SanLo at about 19, so that I could go to the birthday party of Charline (HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHARLINE!!!). 

Traffic jam

We did not, however, take into account that we would be in 4 huge traffic jams due to car accidents, resulting in our arrival at the house at about 22... At that point, I was very tired, and very happy to be safe and unharmed at the house...

Mangooooo!!

Nice paraguayan Landscape

New years was, however, pretty similar over here. New years eve dinner, fireworks at midnight.

A thing they do is to eat 12 grapes at midnight, for luck, health, love and a couple of other things. 

A difference though: I made a gingerbread house!! Usually it's for christmas but I made it a little later, and we ate that on new years eve. Everyone absolutely loved it. Which does not surprize me, delicious as it is!!

 Happy new year!