Suddenly it is over

Today (actually yesterday but as I am still awake I count it as today) was possibly one of the most excruciating days of my life.
The day I had to say goodbye to all my fellow AFS-ers and see them pass security on their way back home.
I don't really have words to describe how I am feeling this moment, it is very very weird.

The time leading up to today went so incredibly fast, and it is still hard to grasp that my time as an AFS exchange student is over, although I stay in the country for a couple of weeks more.
How can something that has become your life suddenly just end?

I am not really understanding that this has actually happened yet, I am still in major denial and convinced I will see my friends on thursday as usual. I am waiting for the moment it just hits me, I doubt it will be benign... I don't even want to think about my own departure yet...

Turning one year older

I'm at my 10th month in Paraguay, the residing time is so short that I'm almost starting to panic about it. I can't believe the time while seeming excruciatingly outdrawn can have passed so fast.
I will be the first to admit that seven- eight months ago, all I wanted was for this time to come so I could finally end this weird and scary experience and come back to safe ground.
Now? I'm positively terrified of the 21st of July and my flight date. The thought of leaving my life here is devastating. Even so I am trying to do the best of the situation and just enjoy my Paraguayan life as much as I possibly can, practicing my "live here and now"-skills a full.
This Saturday was my nineteenth birthday, which means I am now and old and respectable lady with crackling bones (of which only the last is even slightly true..).
I celebrated this by going to a university in central Asunción and replacing one of my dearest friends as English teacher, seeing as she could not possibly make it to her morning class. It was quite a thrill teaching them, surprisingly enough. I have always suffered from a slight stage fright but at this occasion found myself surprisingly comfortable in front of 17 almost complete strangers, explaining the logic of my favorite language.

At night, a group of my favorite AFS-people came to my house to eat tacos and, I kid you not, THE BEST CHOCOLATE BROWNIES MAN KIND HAS EVER EXPERIENCED. I was so proud of them...
A majority of people left as the night rolled in, and we were about 8 people and a bottle of vodka left. This might sound like a disaster waiting to happen but it was actually rather tidy and orderly. We learned a lot about each other while playing some, to me completely new, drinking games.
We stayed up until 3 in the morning, and it was a very successful night.

Some other things that are going on in my life: I have started at a dance academy. It is possibly the best I've ever done, even though it's tough and I sometimes feel I am so close to death that I see the light or just frustrated because it doesn't work out, it is such an exhilarating feeling once you make even one step right. And more over, I've always wanted to dance and now that I've started I just can't understand why I never did it before. I have these classes every afternoon at least 2 hours, and study ballet, classic contemporary, Danza paraguaya, jazz, artistic and Arabic dance, every once in a while replaced with stretching so brutal it comes close to torture. But in a nice way.
Among the other things I really enjoy (yes actually) in Paraguay is my school. This is both because of the classes, that are sometimes actually interesting, and Andrés, a guy in my school who in an interesting turn of events I am going out with. This particular event has surprised pretty much everyone around me, and myself also, seeing as my idea when I came here was not to even come close to falling in love, a thought apparently made a lot easier by the fact that Paraguayan males in general are asses. Not this particular guy though.. His way of thinking and acting is so different from the majority of people here that I could have sworn he was European.
Even though we both are aware that I'm leaving all too soon, and against all rational judgement I possess, we decided to give it a try for now and later on see what will happen.

My new host family is the best family in history, I really really like them and feel so comfortable in the house. It's such an amazing difference from my first host family I almost can't believe it.

Although I am learning that problems never disappear but merely replace each other, I'm incredibly happy with my current life and have the mental strength to work through the issues as they appear.

Take care and stay safe

Hospitalized

I'm curious about Paraguay and want to try all it has to offer.
In this quest, I decided it was about time I experienced Paraguayan hospital from an inside perspective, and how uneasy it feels to get food poisoned.

I fell ill in school, with a mild fever and general pain and stiffness in my entire body (something I at the time viciously denied in an effort to convince myself I was fine or at least that I didn't have dengue..).
I then proceeded to sleep pretty much 20 hours straight and ingest a modest amount of water (which judging by my dehydration was too little..).

Now this should be known about Paraguayans in general: they think the best solution for everything is medicine. Just cover up the symptoms so that you don't feel them and you'll be great in no-time. Me? I think excessive medication is the most stupid thing in the modern society. According to me, a symptom should not be ignored and covered. And a moderate fever is a natural way to beat down intruders. Hence, I'm very prone to let it run its course, as long as it doesn't get over 40°C. This I tried to explain to four Paraguayans, all of which thought I was completely whacked in the head...

Anyhow, the fever didn't give in and during the night less pleasant symptoms started to appear (let's just say I had stomach issues and leave it at that..).

Mid-day Thursday I felt halfway dead and was brought to our "AFS-hospital", where everyone, including myself, was convinced I had gotten dengue.
Immediately blood samples were drawn to confirm the diagnosis, while I was put on IV- fluids and about 5 different kinds of medicine. It was here decided that I should be hospitalized.

The luckiest moment of my life might have been being told that I did not have dengue, but rather a pretty inconvenient food poisoning.
Making a long story short you could say that being in hospital is 2 % sort of interesting and 98% boring. Luckily for me, my friend/aunt/sister Jana stayed by my side, in an air conditioned, neat room with cable TV...

Among the things I discovered:
IV can hurt like a bitch when it has been stagnating a while, and that if you have the bag lower than your hand, blood may or may not start going in the opposite direction, which in spite of what one would be prone to think, actually does not hurt but can scare the living daylight out of you if you dislike blood.
Also, drawing blood hurts much less when it's done on you at 6 in the morning right after brutally waking you up...

I am now fine. Still a bit sensitive when it comes to eating and a bit weakened, but in general, I've never felt better.

Changing families

I am since Monday one of the many AFS participants in Paraguay who has changed hostfamilies.

My change was not due to maltreatment in any form, as has been the case with others, but rather because it is a fact that some people simply don't have chemistry.
I lived in my first house for 9 months, and despite trying to get into the family for this time-period, I grew more and more uncomfortable and suffocated in the house.
Also, my hostfather was a rather intimidating human being, and even though he was pleasant to me, he is very 'Paraguayan macho'(ie thinks his and only his opinion has any value and that my opinions are by default worthless and insignificant because I'm younger and female) and I never really got over my anxiety in his presence.

In my opinion, the major effort of an exchange student should not be trying to integrate with the family. Do not get it wrong, I think it is really important to be integrated in the family, but if it takes so much effort that it constitutes 90% of your worries -and still doesn't feel good- it simply isn't worth continuing. At least not for me, I didn't come to Paraguay to be stressed out by the fact that I don't function in a family that I just am not compatible with.
Sometimes, people are just..."the wrong sofa". It is pretty and comfortable but it simply does not fin in your living room...

So I have been discussing the subject with various AFS people over quite a large timespan(about 2 months) and last weekend my local counsellor decided that I HAD TO move.
So she took me under her motherly wings and let me stay in her house with her family.
I have now been here a little less than a week, and I already feel more comfortable here than I did in my first house after 9 months.
The family consists of Mariela, my hostmother (and also AFS-counsellor), her husband Olavo and two daughters (ie my hostsisters, Olinda and Oriana, 3 and 14 years old). They live with the parents of Olavo, and in an interesting twist of circumstances, my Belgian friend Jana is the hostkid of my host-grandparents, which technically makes her my host-aunt, although she is more my sister than anything else. We have realized that we might seem to be as different from each other that two people can possibly be, but we actually think the same and function well together. I love her.
In fact I feel an affectionate love towards all of my new family members, including the maid and the nanny who work here. And not because "I should", as it often felt in my first family, but just because I simply like then very much.

So nowadays I share room with Jana and Oriana. In an interesting, and for me extremely beneficial, twist of events, I got to sleep on the loft the room features, which was previously just a deposit of a darn huge amount of clothes. I have my own personal window, something I have not had in nine months (my first house was a bit depressing in that sense).

I am just very happy here. And very set on having three awesome last months of exchange.

Take care. Smile.

Easter in Paraguay!! (Photobomb ahead)

"My horse"

 So Easter is a bit different in Paraguay, as we all experienced. For me, it was mostly the lack of eggs and candy and anything... special... taht was different. but I really enjoyed my easter holiday!!

The farm where we stayed

I went with my hostfamily to misiones, a district of Paraguay, to a farm faaar faaar away from EVERYTHING, about 10 km to the nearest road.

It was possibly the best trip so far, maybe with exeption of the Cataratas. It was so long ago I breathed fresh air and could move freely in unsoiled nature, and it was SO QUIET. So incredibly, peacefully quiet. Silence is something I've learned not to miss (Living in the centro of San Lorenzo does that to you), but it was so wonderful getting in touch with calm mother nature again...

Upon arriving, I was more or less assigned a horse, a really pretty flaxen chestnut gelding, to pretty much go wherever I fancied with during the two days of our stay.

Seeing as I am a huge dog-person and the only one who actually appreciated the two dogs on the farm, they sor of adopted me as their new friend and leader, which resulted in me having their wonderful company on my horseback tour.

Now, if I would ever again be asked "What moment of your life were you the happiest?", this would be the answer.. On the back of a horse, accompanied by two wonderful dogs and in absolutely silent, beautiful nature, being free to go wherever I wish and without having to race the clock.

And also. We found an old, abandoned garden with some grapefruit trees. Now, it is citrus fruit season in Paraguay, and that grapefruit, eaten two seconds after being picked, on the back of a horse. I don't even have words to describe that feeling. 

 

on fire

BECAUSE TIGER STRIPED COW!!

My dogs :) To the left the female puppy (About 7 months old) and to the right the male, a little tired of her shit

Another horse

Lemons!

Me on the horse

Sheeeeeeeeep!!

Coming back

My horse, so pretty :D

Winter time

So, Paraguay is probably the ONLY country that suddenly decides to change to wintertime two weeks earlier than usual (6th of April) because "it's darker in the morning than usual".
The satellite clock to which my [insert ironic tone here] AWESOME phone synchronizes does not coincide with Paraguays decision... I mean.. What? This is not the way the world functions? You can't just suddenly decide you want to change the time? Shall we change the date as well?
Oh Paraguay...

(Yes I know that Europe change the time today)

Major iPhone trashing ahead

If there is anyone who is a huge fan of the Apple technology, I suggest you just stop reading here.


So let me strip this down. 
Using Apple technology, or at least an iPhone, which to be honest is the only Apple product I'm familiar with, is the closest I've ever been to an abusive relationship.

It is so frickin' awesome. It's so intuitive and easygoing and nice and shiny and pretty and fancy.
It is. It is an awesome, fantastic little piece of fucked up shit.

As long as you play by its rules.

Trying to add new music from another computer?

-Here, let me erase ALL THE MEDIA that's currently on your phone

Oh I see you're in a new country.

-How about I get blocked and you need the disfunctioning SIM-card to unlock me?

Want to use your phone while it's charging?

-How about a cord the lenght of your arm?

Actually the full story is that I have had issues with my phone since I arrived to Paraguay. First of all, my Swedish SIM card, which worked all the way to Brazil, does not have reception in Paraguay. I mean of course it doesn't. It's Paraguay... So I headed out to get a Paraguayan one. Which, surprise.. DID NOT WORK. I mean, of course it didn't, it's Paraguayan.... No actually though, that was unfair. The more truthful version is; of course it didn't, my phone is locked to use in Sweden.

Then, miraculously, and might I add, very expensively, I found a solution to make my phone connect to paraguayan operator Tigo. 

Few weeks after, the piece of shit died. With help from a patient, english-speaking bloke at the local Apple store (YES, paraguay has an Apple store!), it revived again.

Then, of course, there is the iOS question. Since I had iOS 4 installed, my phone was no longer supporting various applications. I did not really want to do the upgrade because I was fairly sure it would go to hell, and because there was no iTunes installed on the computer, and because I did not want to loose all my media (I'm such a audio-book-addict).

But well, I did some reasearch and figured that with the backup, I would not loose at least some things, and it didn't seem very complicated to do the backup. so happy as can be, I download this iOS 6.4.6.11 or whichever version we may now be on. A bit anxious, I press the "Restore and update". My phone just shuts down and I see "extracting all software" flashing on the iTunes. That does not, in my opinion, sound good. At all. 

After various on and off-turning, all managed by iTunes, my piece of shit- phone happily flashes "To unlock your phone, insert a valid SIM-card"...

Of course. Of course my expensively manipulated, paraguayan SIM card is not valid. Of course I should have known that a "valid" card is necessary to unlock a phone after an restoration. 

So here I am. My phone not working, no contacts, and that is, all the contacts from three years use. All data, all music. Very unreachable.

But at the same time I'm not that bothered. I mean, I can live without it. And at least I still have it. once I'm back I can unlock it. I do however feel a bit annoyed..